I’m proud of my academic accomplishments even if they left me with few friends.) A better life-changing point would be when I first entered college. (I can’t imagine myself as being someone who only cared about boys and clothes and popularity. Also, it could very well change my essential being. This is, however, a shallow kind of turning-back-time desire, I would say. I like to wonder what it would have been like to be well-known in high school for something other than my impeccable grades and determined attitude. I’m not saying that dating this particular boy and becoming popular are directly related, but I can imagine that being the first among my friends to have a boyfriend would have significantly increased my confidence and later my popularity. Instead, he went on to date another girl who would eventually become homecoming and prom queen in high school. Even though by the end of fifth grade and for the next four years I had a desperate school girl crush on this same boy who never again returned my affections. However, I had a crush on his best friend so I said no. This was the first time anyone had ever shown any romantic interest in me and would have launched my career in popularity within my school’s social hierarchy I suspect for the rest of my life. The first for me was in fifth grade when a rather popular boy asked me to be his girlfriend. I am a very reflective person, and I understand and agonize over moments in my life that I see as significant turning points. I think that though the ability to change the past or turn back time is out of our human grasp (and more than likely ill-advised) we still would jump at the chance of being able to do so, and I’ve boiled down this theory into four main compulsions.ġ.) There is at least one moment in our past we think could have changed the course of our lives had we chosen differently.įor daydreamers like me, I think this is the biggest reason we would want to turn back time. (Although admittedly, when I’m feeling down my imaginary alternate realties do seem much more enticing than the current life I’m leading). The imagined life itself need not be better than the one I’m leading now. It gives me a sense of peace to imagine an alternate world in which I have made significantly different decisions that have led me to a different life. However, I like to imagine the world in multiple timelines. Most of these decisions are relatively inconsequential, and we very rarely dwell on them or trace back a particular failure to something so simple as eating ice cream. For example, if I had perhaps chosen to forgo the ice cream at a birthday party knowing that I was lactose-intolerant (but love ice cream, nonetheless) I might not have been sick that evening and would have gotten a better night’s sleep and therefore been more mentally prepared for my choir auditions the next day. Sometimes those decisions are out of your control the world acts upon you in ways you could not foresee or avoid, and you are left with the wreckage of “fate.” Most decisions that we contemplate though are those within our control. Every decision has to go in one direction and that sets your life down a new path, quite potentially different than it would have been a few moments before. The real problem with time though, is that you only get one chance. It just keeps moving forward now matter how much we may want to halt it completely or at least slow down a bit so we can revel in the moment a little longer.
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